Finding Luchadora The Explorer: Cycling Canada to Mexico

It’s funny, the first week of the trip is etched in my memory so perfectly. I remember every single day. I remember how dusty I felt after spending a day riding up the hot, dry logging trails on our way out of Canmore. I remember how frigidly cold the water was when we rinsed off in a lake at 1700 m above sea level at the end of the day. I remember the taste of the mint tea we were given on our first night in the mountains by two guys we lovingly dubbed “The Nerds”, because they seemed like an unlikely pair to be traversing the Great Divide Trail. I remember sitting on the back of a construction sign because it was the only shade we could find. I remember how amazing our lunch of sourdough bread dipped straight into a jar of peanut butter tasted because we were just so hungry. I remember the brilliant aquamarine colour of the glacier pool we found at the bottom of a hidden waterfall, and the shocking, paralysing, cold of the water when we jumped in. I remember the eerie beauty of bright red Indian Paintbrush flowers contrasting against the blackened, skeletal, pine trees in a burnt section of forest we cycled through. I remember the day I got so exhausted that I couldn’t think straight, and how the first shower I took of the trip that night felt like it warmed me right through to my soul.

“It has been one week on the road and I feel battle hardened. The mountains in BC have gotten smaller, fuzzier and cuddlier. My body is adjusting, as is my mind. I am getting stronger, more confident, and hungrier by the day. Every night we go to sleep wind blown, exhausted, satisfied, and wake up to paradise on our doorstep. The days are beginning to blur together, but are anything but monotonous. Every day brings new delights, a different view, just when I thought it couldn’t get more beautiful. Working harder, chugging away at whatever terrain is becoming a comfortable realty. The physical discomfort is becoming so expected and satisfying, because I know that at the end of the day, I am rewarded. I am rewarded by taking great pleasure in simple things, like getting camp set up, a delicious meal of rice and veggies, treating ourselves to pastries,  going to bed tired and hunkering down in our little tent that has quickly become a comforting home.”

–Trip Journal, August 25, 2016, Day 7

On day 4, we hit a storm and spent almost a whole day in the tent waiting out the rain and playing Dungeons and Dragons. It was also a needed rest day for me, I had pushed myself to exhaustion the night before. The next day was grey drizzle, but we kept on and the rain did not make it any less beautiful.

Day 2 – made it to the top our first big climb, time to celebrate.

First meal in the mountains. Cooking on the camp stove became one of my favorite daily activities. If you look carefully you can also see The Nerds in the background.

Day 1 open road, mountains in the distance. This would be our everyday for the next year.

Day 1 – still in the neighborhood, crossing the beautiful Bow Rive in Calgary

Day 1 – nervous and excited to hit the road. We had no idea what we were in for…

Lakes and mountains, frigid water, warm sun. Was this really my life?

First ever lunch stop of the trip in Cochrane, Alberta. Thanks to Kate and Andrew we had a Sidewalk Citizen feast.

Here we are drying off in the sun after jumping into a glacial pool created by a water fall. Simon spied this hidden gem off the path a bit and it was so refreshing and remains one of my favorite memories of the whole trip.

But as the days wore on, my memory of them gets fuzzier and fuzzier. I remember the following months in snippets, like a trailer for a movie that I know that I watched once. I can recall the taste of the first good beer somewhere in British Columbia, shocking the waitresses with how much we could eat at a diner, the smell of the coffee roasting at a tiny roasting operation in Rock Creek, the constant pain in my legs, so many ferry boat rides, and incredible sunset after incredible sunset upon hitting the West Coast. I remember the joy of being on the Brazilian Jiu Jitsu mats again and seeing old friends in Vancouver when I stopped in at Elements Academy of Martial Arts. This would be my very first BJJ travel experience, and it couldn’t have been better. So I did it again when I was in Victoria and found Fierce Studio, where Ari taught me a lesson in wrist locks over and over and over again. I was having amazing experiences, but my mind was struggling. By day 42 I wrote:

“I find myself feeling small, useless, and insignificant on this trip…”

– Trip Journal, September 29, 2016, Day 42 

Famed West Coast sunset. This was our evening treat for months.

We discovered this thought provoking piece of folk art somewhere in the BC mountains.

We had about 20 km of a beautiful paved dedicated bike path from Cranbrook to Kimberly. It was luxurious. SImon got to ride it twice because I left my powerbank charging at Hoe Hardware by accident. Oops.

First beer of the trip. Beer never tasted so good. Okay, that’s a lie, beer always tastes good.

Gray Creek Pass has gone down as both the most difficult and the most rewarding experience of the whole trip. Our bikes were not built for the terrain, and I was not built for more than 1500 m of elevation gain in only 17 km. We made it to the summit in one day, but barely, and thanks to pounding an entire package of cookies at about 7pm to keep me going the last 1 or 2 km to the summit.

This was one of the first meals out we ate after making it back to civilisation. in Hope, BC. Simon had two pieces of pie and a plate of fries after this. I wish I had a picture of the look on the server’s face.

We did our best to have interesting cultural experiences while we traveled as well.

Good rolls with old friends at Elements Academy of Martial Arts in Vancouver. My very first BJJ travel experience care of my old water polo buddy from Halifax, Steve.

We had a rule that if there was a chance to take a boat, we had to do it. This resulted in a ridiculous amount of ferry boat rides around BC and Washington.

Another West Coast Sunset.

They just never get old.

I stopped writing in the journal, but I kept going. I kept pedaling. I kept trying my best to be grateful and to love all the exceptional experiences I was so lucky to be having. I wanted to do this trip, in part, so that I could improve some of my (perceived) weaknesses. But I felt like they were just getting worse. I had been diagnosed with ADD not too long before starting the trip; and I had so fiercely hoped that if I just changed my environment the symptoms would go away, or be easier to control.

“This is what my ADD looks like, it isn’t a hilarious high energy foible. It is indecision, it is an inability to quickly adapt or change plans. It is difficulty remembering information. It is slow and stupid. I have become so self conscious. I can feel myself folding inwards. All I see are  my shortcomings, but whenever I try and think of how to improve on them, I just come up blank. I just remember that one of the things I suck at is problem solving. And now I am exhausted. And alone.”

– Trip Journal, October 15, 2016, Day 58 

I would spend my days thinking about how I was not good enough to be doing this trip. I would literally hear the voices of my old bosses and teachers in my head telling me this was a stupid idea. I would get mad at myself for not being able to enjoy every single moment, and then hate myself more for it. It was a vicious cycle that I just couldn’t break out of.

The reward at the top of the infamous Gray Creek Pass. We had a slow morning dousing ourselves in the calm of this lake at the height of the pass over 2000 m in elevation.

The benefit for taking the back roads? The incredible views from the trestle bridges through the mountains. This is one of the reasons why traveling by bicycle is so special.

Have we made it to Mexico? Nope, this is a gem of a lake in beautiful British Columbia, Canada. You can tell by how ridiculously cold the water is.

The satisfying view after a long climb. Now we get to go all the way down….

These little side trips, finding spectacular vistas like this, were daily occurrences throughout the Canadian portion of the trip.

The physical aspects of the trip were also incredibly difficult in this period. I was carrying too much weight on the back of my bike, with no front bags to balance it out. I did not have a gear set that was appropriate for steep inclines, and there were a lot of mountains along the Oregon and California coasts. And it rained. All the time. I actually love cycling in the rain, there is something so refreshing and liberating about it. But when you stop, it gets cold. And when you set up a tent in the rain, for days on end, with no sun to dry things out, everything gets wet and smelly. It was demoralising. We ended up staying in motels more often, spending more money on warm comforting meals, and spending less time being able to stop, explore and enjoy the trip because we were just trying to survive.

The first hot, sunny day we had on the California coast. The water was a little cold, but we couldn’t help but jump right in when we found a hidden cove beach to take a lunch break at.

A refreshing change of scenery after rainy coastal views for weeks on end. The beautiful rolling hills and green pastures of Northern California.

The first sunny beach we saw on the West Coast. It was still a cool day so we didn’t get in the water, but we did take a few minutes to revel in the warm sun, endless blue sky, and soft sand.

Anyone recognise this rock? Never say die?

One of the biggest storms to hit the West Coast in decades. We hunkered down in South Beach. Luckily, we didn’t have to spend the whole day in the tent as there was an aquarium and a brewery within walking distance. I got to play with an octopus and drink jalapeno flavored beer. Once the rain died down, it turned into this bad ass wind storm.

More rain, more grey skies. It doesn’t take away the beauty of the Oregon coast, in fact, it somehow suits the scenery.

Stoic reflection…or just trying to remember what sun felt like.

Big Sur means big views. Long climbs along narrow cliff hugging highways and fast roller coaster descents.

I did not stop at a single BJJ club all the way from Victoria to LA. It was such a struggle to just get by every day, both physically and emotionally, that I didn’t have the energy to seek out clubs. I still wasn’t very good at finding clubs either. I hadn’t figured out how to network properly within the BJJ community. I finally managed to get to a class when I was staying with family in LA. I went to Legacy and met Alberto Crane. It was a wonderful, refreshing experience. The club was incredibly welcoming, and I got a lot of positive reactions and questions about the trip. I resolved to try and make visiting clubs a higher priority. It was propelling me to regain some of the self-confidence I had lost.

By the time I got to San Diego I was worn down. I was at an ultimate low and even though my parents came out to spend 10 days with us, I just couldn’t snap out of it. I found myself at The Arena where I got a few nights in of both Muay Thai with Kru Mark, and BJJ with Baret Yoshida (who had just returned from competing at EBI 10 in Mexico City, I was a little star struck). But, two nights of training just wasn’t enough. And as the date to leave grew closer and closer, the day we would finally cross the border into Mexico, I got more and more anxious. And for the first time, I considered giving up. Maybe this was an experience that I just couldn’t handle?

I loved getting a few Muay Thai classes in with Kru Mark at The Arena in San Diego. The first class I felt like an uncoordinated troll, but even by the second class I got at least a little bit of my grove back.

La Jlla Cove was like it’s own little zoo. There was an incredible amount of wildlife there: sealions, seals, dolphins, and so many birds.

Hanging out on an aircraft carrier. They are incredible and ridiculous pieces of engineering, now I understand why they cost billions of dollars.

I remembered at the last minute to take a picture with Alberto Crane at Legacy in Burbank. I was just having too much fun on the mats.

It was so nice to have my parents come down and spent 10 days with us in San Diego. We all toured around together like real tourists and had a wonderful AirBnB where we could upgrade, fix, rand re-pack all our equipment before heading into Mexico.

I managed to slip in one class with Baret Yoshida right after he got back from his stellar performance at EBI 10 in Mexico City. My hair is a disaster from trying to grow parts of it out, Professor Baret was nice enough not to comment on it.

How’s my gorilla impression? San Diego Zoo fun.

My mama giving me cuddles in front of all the mama seals cuddling their babies.

The look on my face is because I am concerned the margarita just isn’t big enough.

San Diego Aquarium.

Coronado Hotel in Sand Diego.

“I feel like I am just never going to be the person I want to be. I will never be a person I like. I feel like I have wasted so much of my life trying to do big things and failing, I have spent so much time in destructive experiences. I just get so frustrated by being me, being someone who can’t make good decisions, who whines, who blames other people for her own short comings, who has trouble learning new things, who forgets everything, who can’t push themselves without falling apart. I just get so sick of myself.”

– Trip Journal, Dec. 7, 2016, Day 111 

On December 8th, 2016, we left San Diego and crossed the border into Mexico. And somehow, everything started to change. It had taken me 112 days to get from Calgary, Alberta, Canada to Mexico. It took 112 days to get to such a low point that I had to make a choice to either improve my situation, or give up. Spoiler alert, I chose the former. When it came to it, I figured out a way to improve my situation, to adjust bit by bit, to reach out for help, to let go of old habits. Things got better and better and I began my path to becoming the person I always wanted to be: the adventurer, the fighter, someone who can inspire and motivate others to take risks, to be honest with themselves, to live the life they want. That was the day I became Luchadora The Explorer.